i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....