I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize