that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck