There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
