Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
