He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
