At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
