is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize