I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
