Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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