Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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