either way he was missing a nipple.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
