dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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