There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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