Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
