just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think I won the penis lottery.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
