You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So vagazzling was a success
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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