Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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