i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
porn star boner night. come get it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
