it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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