i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
