We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize