You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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