her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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