well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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