We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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