she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
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And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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