turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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