just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
