i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
