No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i drank out of a bidet.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
why is half of my head shaved?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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