I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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