There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What a dumb baby whore.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
