I'm so fucking centered right now
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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