so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
