69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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