Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
