i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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