Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
