I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize