We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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