Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
