I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
