i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I sprained my soul last night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
