Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she told me i tasted like america
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
