It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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