Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
