my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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