But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Randomize
