ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
