Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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