I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
