i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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