Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I will die if light touches me.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
