Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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