i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think my fart just growled at me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
