she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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