I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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