Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
