I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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